By Ron Lee
I was just sitting down to finalize my new Verbal Assassination column when I checked my e-mail. In my inbox was a correspondence from someone claiming to be an American soldier wanting to find business associates in the U.S. to send pillaged plunder from Iraq for safe keeping. Now, this type of e-mail hoax resembles the one when you are contacted by people claiming that you are a surviving relative to a rich foreigner who has recently died. They ask for your personal information under the guise of confirming your identity and then comes a one time processing fee in order to get your inherited millions. Yeah, it’s no wonder identity theft is so prevalent when greed drives normally good people to do foolish things like give-up all of their information! But, it was the nature of this new scam e-mail that made me so irrate that I couldn’t help but respond to it. Needless to say, I threw out my column-in-progress and decided to share with you the e-mail I received followed by my response, which was also sent on to the FBI.
—– Original Message —–
From: “Geraldine Marcus”
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2006 9:47 PM
Subject: AN INSIGHT
My name is, Sgt. Geraldine Marcus representing a faction of American soldiers, serving in the military of the 1st Armored Division in Iraq, we came across your e-mail address(s) in the process of research and enquiry into an immense military global data base. I believe you are familiar with the war situation in Iraq ? apart from killings and day to day unrest, a lot of activities happen such as sales of antiques, stocked foreign cash discovery and lots more. We are lucratively involved in these activities, myself and my colleagues want to send consignments out of iraq, which will be discussed upon your acceptance of this transaction and we require a worthy, upright and business minded individual for safe keeping outside the Iraqi state. You might have an insight through; http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm and details will be sent upon signal of interest. Our contact email ; firstname.lastname@example.org
Thanks for your co-operation
Sgt. Geraldine Marcus
Dear Sgt. Marcus,
If you ARE one of our troops, which I hope you are not, you should be ashamed of yourself, found and court-martialed immediately. What you are doing is wrong. You are there, not only as our protectors, but as our ambassadors to a people who have been robbed of the most basic of liberties under the oppressive rule of Saddam Hussein. You are there to show the world that we, YOU, make a difference and that our talk of a free Iraq is true and honest, and that we can provide a safe haven for their start into this new world of democracy we have provided for them. You are there to protect them from what you have suggested you are involved in, the American pilfering of Iraq’s public and possessions. If you ARE one of our soldiers, I am ashamed of you and anyone who is involved with you.
If you are not one of our brave soldiers putting their lives on the line for our protection and the protection of a free Iraq, as I would assume you ARE NOT, then I hope authorities find you and prosecute you to the fullest. And no doubt you will get caught! Any intelligent criminal wouldn’t ask for “worthy, upright and business minded individual(s)” to take part in an obvious scam as they would know that what you are suggesting is illegal (not to mention immoral) and, like I have, report you immediately! Fool.
It would have been better if you asked for “blood sucking scum of the earth who would do anything for a buck,” and you might just get people who fit the caliber of individual that would help you rape a country we are trying to protect and foster. They would be people who might even pay you for the opportunity to make a few bucks, which I’m sure is where this would head if I were to respond positively.
You are probably some deluded miscreant who gets his/her jollies off trying to think of “cool” ways to scam people on the internet, find new ways to stifle us with ridiculous amounts of spam in hopes of one sale in a million e-mails, and are generally just a sad little creature that sits behind a keyboard plucking away thinking you’re cool.
Sorry, whoever-you-are, I’m smarter than you. I’m obviously more of an American than you – which I doubt you actually are American. I’m incredibly more moral than you. And guess what … because I am a smart, moral, proud American it makes me more cool than you could ever be.
No matter who you really are I hope you get what you deserve. How’s that for a signal?
Anyone who gets this e-mail, or one similar, please know that it is a scam, and a bad one at that. Report it immediately by forwarding a copy of the e-mail to your local FBI field office which can be found on-line at: www.fbi.gov. Just remember one thing when getting promising e-mail, if you don’t personally know who sent it, automatically assume it is a Spam Scam.
About the Author: Ron Lee has been a freelance and published writer since 1985. He attended Richmond University in London where he focused on theatre arts, and the University of Nevada Reno where he dual majored in criminal justice and psychology. He currently spends his time helping the US~Observer’s clients with his no nonsense investigative reporting style. Ron may be reached at email@example.com. Favorite quote, “The truth shall make you free.” –John VIII. 32